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Poor Whoopie said she couldn't get a date now. But Howard took care of that. He fixed her up with Hank the angry drunken dwarf.""Isn't he dead?""I guess he couldn't very well refuse the date then, now could he?""I did see that show, now that you mention it! That chick Whoopi was wearing an eye patch. Talk about a pirate and a dead man's chest! She does have great nips, though. That's about all I could see through the mammary forest.""Hey, when are we getting together with Elton John, again? What a musician! Can he play the skin flute, or what? * * *Brian Cashman called "The Boss" to report on progress with trade talks. "Chrusher Cunnt said he will approve a trade to either the Yankees or Red Sox on one condition.""And what's that?" George roared."Crusher says he knows he is the best player in baseball. But it's in the bedroom where his performance has been questioned. He has this little problem. It doesn't matter so much he says when one of his legions of groupies is blowing him. But intercourse seems to be an issue with the ladies. They complain that he is the One Minute Man, if you get my drift. Whichever team can provide a solution to his problem gets his services."George contemplated this dilemma for several minutes. "So who doesn't blow a load a little quick sometimes when he's dipping his wick in some hot little number? We need to find him a real skank to screw." * * *Crusher Cunnt called Theo Epstein, general manager of the Red Sox.
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