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Indeed, so often have I received Papal requests, I begin to suspect that it goes beyond the stereotyped image of horny clerics. It is as if Catholicism has embarked upon a modern crusade - to punish the proprietors of modern sinfulness. And, as we all know, cinema lies as the root cause of our culture's moral degradation..... These requests are always quite appetising - there is nothing quite so sordid as watching a spoilt brat of an actress taste God's wrath. However, my current hunt is altogether more satisfying. Salma Hayek has severely pissed off the Catholic establishment. She is Mexico's finest export since the taco - something of an icon / idol in her native land. Mexico is of major importance to the Catholic faith - a vastly increasing population destined to poverty - an obvious Catholic breeding ground. In the last 50 years Catholicism has concentrated more and more on such countries - abandoning the affluent (and thus irreligious) West in favour of more fertile ground. A similar agenda was undertaken by tobacco firms - but that particular insidious invasion was halted.
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